Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Introduction

Hi Miley, I'm Margo, your tour guide liaison.  I'm sorry I won't be able to travel with you to the gutter, but have arranged for two others to escort you.  I feel they are more qualified and have a much better understanding of how these things work.  First, I would like to introduce you to Madonna.

She once held a coveted spot on the pop icon ladder, but has been off the top rung for so long not many people are interested in what she does anymore.  She tried to make a comeback but her showing was very poor and it was sad to watch, so the general public decided to turn their backs and let her atrophy in peace.

The other person I would like for you to meet is Britney.  She used to have a promising career...well not really, but SHE thought she did and so did alot of 12 year old girls and 45 year old men; they now know differently. If at all possible, please try not to touch Madonna or Britney, as what they have might rub off.  Oh wait, sorry, I see you already did!

I'm just sayin', the path to the gutter is short.  Trying to climb out is impossible!


Saturday, June 12, 2010

Lovin' the Face-Lift!

Everyone needs a face-lift occasionally.  I decided my website and blog needed a new look, so I gave them one.  I just wish giving my face a new look was this easy.  Anyway, check it out!  While you are at it, check out the link below to one of my favorite dances, the Cha Cha Slide!!  Have a wonderful Saturday!!!

I'm just sayin',


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Where Are We Now?

So.  So, here we are.  Almost halfway through the year 2010.  A year when, back in 1950, it was predicted that we would be traveling around in hover crafts...the new vehicle of the new century and living lifestyles similar to The Jetsons.  Are you enjoying your personal hover craft?  I know I LOVE mine!  :-)  I also enjoy walking up to my home, having it call me by name, opening the door for me and welcoming me home from work with the smell of something magnificent baking in the oven!  Wasn't that supposed to be happening by now also?  Right!  The only welcome I get is a door flying open, a teenager screaming "what's for dinner" and the smell of wet dog.  I suppose Bill Gates has been so busy producing Microsoft Office 2010 that he hasn't had a chance to work on Microsoft Home 2000.  Bill, call me.  I'll tell you what features should be included in that program, like automatic back rub, make-up application, hair styling, maid services and master chef.  Creative avenues for time-out would also be a nice application.  Oh, and me being able to snap my fingers like Samantha Stevens to move from one location to the next.  I don't think I want to be beamed anywhere because I might lose important parts that I brain cells.
Well, back to reality.  Even though we aren't able to enjoy hover crafts or moving sidewalks, something you should be enjoying is the progress you've made through those New Year's Resolutions.  Right about now you are probably asking yourself, "What resolutions?  Was I sober?"  Do you remember your New Year's Resolutions?  Can you find the box top you wrote them on?  Or did you make one of those  electronic "notes to self" to help you remember them?  If you are like me, those resolutions are dust in the wind.  Oh, I had the best intentions to keep every single one of them, but somehow, life happened and distracted me from the task at hand.  I did a little research to find what some of the most popular New Year's Resolutions were, and here they are:

  • Improve health: lose weight, eat better and exercise more
  • Improve finances: get out of debt and save money
  • Improve career: get a better job
  • Improve self: become more organized, reduce stress, better time management
  • Take a trip
  • Help others
  • Spend more time with family and friends
  • Improve relationships
Now I pose the question - what were your resolutions and how many have you been able to complete?  While you are thinking about this and looking for the "list", I'm going to see if I can find where I filed my resolutions!
I'm just askin',

Friday, June 4, 2010

I'll Take Potent Potables Alex

If you have ever watched Saturday Night Live, then you are quite familiar with Celebrity Jeopardy.  I LOVE Celebrity Jeopardy, probably moreso than the Spartan Cheerleaders! Below are links to two of the funniest episodes I've seen in a long time.  (Sorry you will have to muddle through the commercial at the beginning of each one).

Episode 1

Episode 2

I'm just sayin',


Thursday, June 3, 2010

Scissors! Really?

Will someone please explain to me why it is such a big deal that Vanessa Hudgens knew how to use a pair of scissors???  Is knowing how to  use a pair of scissors to alter your own clothing that much of a phenomenon in Hollywood??   Heck, we regular everyday people have been doing that for ages!!  I learned how to use scissors in kindergarten and by 2nd grade, was altering my clothing with said scissors.  No one came to interview me about my fashion sense nor did they dub me a fashion-savvy starlet.  The only thing I received for my efforts was a spanking!!
I'm just sayin',


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

You've Got the Look that I Don't!

I need a new look.  I’ve sported this same hairstyle and makeup routine for close to 10 years.  If you saw me 10 years ago and didn’t see me again until today, you wouldn't notice anything different about me….well, maybe the 15 added pounds.  Okay, it is really more like 20 pounds, but what is 5 pounds…more or less??!!

This past weekend, I spent much needed time at a day spa, utilizing a wonderful gift certificate I received for Mother’s Day.  Spending time at a day spa is a double-edged sword.  While I love the services I receive at the spa AND the fact the staff will pour you into your car when it is time to go home, I always feel horrible when I leave because I become more painfully aware of the many things about my appearance that I want to change.  The day spa staff are more than willing to help me change the things I want changed as long as I have the cash to pay for said changes.  I don’t have the cash; therefore, I cannot make the changes I desire.  

Below is my makeover wish list:

New haircut and style
New face and body products
Body contouring
Body firming
Face firming and resurfacing
Timeless peels – to make me look years younger by erasing those fine lines and wrinkles*

*Note: these peels actually remove layers of your skin and we all have unwanted layers of skin, right??

I will need a new wardrobe to go with the new body and face the spa is willing to let me purchase, so I will need a personal shopper who can make excellent trendy clothing recommendations.

Yes, I know about the dangers of spa dabbling.  After all, look at Heidi Montag…she started at a spa and then dove right into the hard stuff.  Okay, so don’t look at her.  I know it is difficult since her body parts are never in the same place from one photo shoot to the next, but I won't turn out like Heidi, I promise!   Since I am not independently wealthy from my lucrative modeling career, am not related to or having an affair with Bill Gates and am not an heir to the Warren Buffet fortune, I will not be able to afford all the changes I would like.  Therefore, I’m asking those around me to come to my aid!   I am not too proud to beg and will accept any and all donations to my cause!  I already color my hair and am never picky about the color, as long as it is not gray!  If you cut hair or desire to try some new makeup routines and need someone to be your prototype, I’m your girl.  If you have clothes you are getting rid of that are still in good shape, pick me as your donation box (sizes 5 and 7 please).  If you need 19 other people to share a vial of Botox, I will step up and be counted as one of those 19.  If you know of some home remedy that rids the body of that hideous cellulite while you are wrapped in saran wrap, aluminum foil and wax paper AND removes inches from your waistline – send me an e-mail!!  Even if it is experimental, you’ve found your guinea pig!  If you recently read about a new facial treatment that involves goat milk, bat hair and ricotta cheese….call me – I’m available!  After all, you're never to old to re-create yourself!

I’m just sayin’,