Thursday, April 30, 2009

Letter to the Editor

Dear Margo,

Lately, I have alot in common with Chad Kroeger and Santana....."every time I try to talk to you, I get tongue-tied, it turns out that everything I say to you comes out wrong and never comes out right...."

Do you ever feel like everything in your life is upside down and inside out? That it doesn't matter what you say or do it's always the wrong thing? I hate it when that happens. I feel as though there is a little imp following me around, wreaking havoc in my path. Lately, that is what my life has been -- everything I say or do seems to be the wrong thing. I'm told the best intentions count for nothing if the person on the receiving end doesn't receive it as such. So, what does one do? How do you approach a situation when you think that everything you say or do is being measured and taken the wrong way? You know your heart and what you mean, but how do you convey that to another person?


Nothing Seems Right

Dear Nothing Seems Right,

First of all, let me preface my response by saying that, in the future, when you send in your letter, please include the decoder ring. Sometimes messages get jumbled in transit and it's best to have a clear message to respond to. Rambling never accomplishes anything.

I understand your problem (if I've interpreted your message correctly) and would like to suggest the following as a solution:

  • Eat chocolate - lots and lots of chocolate. Chocolate has many healing properties and always gives one a clear perspective on life.
  • Drink real Coke; not that diet stuff. Real Coke stimulates the healing properties of chocolate.
  • Spend a day at the spa - don't worry about the balance on your credit card bill. It's amazing how much better one feels after a pedicure, manicure, facial and massage (by none other than Orlando Bloom's identical twin). Tip heavily. After all, money is no object when it comes to one's peace of mind.
  • Get highlights. Nothing like a new hair color to make a girl feel and look incredible.
  • Stop listening to Santana.

If I can be of further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me again. But please, for the love of Mike, include the decoder ring so that I don't have to frazzle myself trying to decipher your message.

Hugs and kisses,



Jamie said...

I think the Editor was dead on in her suggestions. Although those would work for any problem.

Chris Barnette said...


What do men do when they stick their feet in their mouths? Which by the way happens all the time. I guess I can use or modify some of your solutions.

1) Chocolate is good, might have to chase it down with some Ice cream though

2) Real coke is too sweet unless watered down with Ice or mixed with something(hey how about chocolate flavored coke)

3) Skip the spa and just get a Pedicure (yes Men do get those) Cj and I have went a couple of times and if you saw his toenails you would pay someone to take care of them too ;-)

4)Highlights? I think I need implants..Whats the number for the “Hair Club for men”?

5)Yeah I agree on the Santana I think he went down hill after “Black Magic Woman”

I guess if all else fails we can sit in our recliners, drink a beer, scratch ourselves and watch Nascar.

Good post!