Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Mark Tremonti...maybe.....

While this particular memory may not be entertaining to those of you who were not involved, it was and still is entertaining to the Real Magnolias.  It is not particularly funny, just entertaining.  And a special memory for us girlfriends.

On November 8, 2002 (you should be impressed I know the date), we held our monthly party, er, uh, meeting.  Remember, we always had a theme.  The theme for this particular month was NERD ALERT.  We, that is most of us, came decked out in our best nerd clothing.  Some, who shall remain nameless, thought they were much too attractive to dress in such a way, so they didn't.  Sam, you were the only one!!  Given that you brought very entertaining photos and some really good gossip, we eventually forgave you!

Paige hosted this austere event and prepared a delicious dinner of pasta and garlic bread.  Naturally, Mike was there.  Fortunately, he never missed a meeting.  As I mentioned earlier, Sam (who refused to dress appropriately for this event), pulled out the photos she had been bragging about and proceeded to tell us the story behind the photos.  The most important was a photo of Mark Tremonti, who was a guitarist for Creed and later AlterBridge.  In the photo with Mark was our very own Sam.  Creed had been in town for a concert and Sam just happened to have a meeting at the hotel where they were staying (not likely, but we gave her the benefit of the doubt.  You see, several of us Real Magnolias had been groupies in another life -- I have my own story of my son and I spending some quality time with Bon Jovi, but that will have to be another day)!  Anyway, Sam enlisted the help of another co-worker and posed for the photo laying before us on the table (oh yeah, it is in The Book).  While posing for said photo, she let Mark know that she and some others (not me) referred to him as Mark Tre-mount-me.  While Mark found it amusing, Sam's husband did not.  Thus, an argument ensued between the two (Sam and her husband, not Mark and Sam's husband).  Side note:  When Sam and the hubs have an argument, physical intimacy ceases to exist.  Sam is a little overactive in this department and this is never a good thing.  So, since there was an argument which led to no physical intimacy, Sam felt she had no choice but to sleep on the sofa.  And you know how one thing leads to another.  Because of her choice to sleep on the sofa, the argument with the hubs and no physical intimacy, Sam had nightmares about being intimate with men she would never, ever, ever, ever in a million years be intimate with.  I suppose you would have to know Sam and her story-telling abilities to be amused OR repulsed, whatever your choice would be.  Since we had just finished eating, we asked her not to tell anymore details so that our food would remain where it belonged.

Now, for you men, here's another side note:  we do talk about you and your talents, or lack thereof.  We compare notes and determine who is in the lead in the contest of the most qualified husband.  Which is why our conversation transitioned from that story to a revelation about Lauren's husband and her nickname for him.....

I'm just sayin',

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